








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 1476 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 979 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Basalt | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Jura | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Agency | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Italy | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 18 different maps





Our logs show 142 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




47 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
8066 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 37,667 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 7287 | 19% |
| Smokes | 8634 | 23% |
| HE Grenades | 12608 | 33% |
| Molotovs | 9138 | 24% |
Our logs show you have wasted $4,231,427 of utility $185 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 1787 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | kevin ◢◤ | 53% | 57 |
| #2 | Ulkal | 52% | 279 |
| #3 | Brodside | 48% | 160 |
| #4 | Joyce ♥ Onyx | 47% | 142 |
| #5 | Alan | 44% | 64 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | kevin ◢◤ | 53% | 57 |
| #2 | Ulkal | 52% | 279 |
| #3 | Brodside | 48% | 160 |
| #4 | Joyce ♥ Onyx | 47% | 142 |
| #5 | Alan | 44% | 64 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Joyce ♥ Onyx | 13 | 0.0043 |
| #2 | Ulkal | 3 | 0.0005 |
| #3 | Brodside | 3 | 0.0009 |
| #4 | kevin ◢◤ | 1 | 0.0009 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Ulkal | 924 | 0.16 | 31 min |
| #2 | Brodside | 241 | 0.07 | 6 min |
| #3 | Joyce ♥ Onyx | 135 | 0.04 | 3 min |
| #4 | kevin ◢◤ | 98 | 0.09 | 3 min |
| #5 | Alan | 51 | 0.04 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | kevin ◢◤ | +1.10 | 64 | 66 |
| #2 | Ulkal | +0.87 | 55 | 69 |
| #3 | Joyce ♥ Onyx | +0.63 | 45 | 45 |
| #4 | DoktorLivingStoned | -0.44 | 52 | 66 |
| #5 | Alan | -0.78 | 47 | 61 |





