








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 143 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 61 matches | ||
| Competitive Agency | 35 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Italy | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 16 different maps





Our logs show 11 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




5 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1326 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 5,286 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 814 | 15% |
| Smokes | 1423 | 27% |
| HE Grenades | 1822 | 34% |
| Molotovs | 1227 | 23% |
Our logs show you have wasted $235,519 of utility $61 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 83 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #6 | Ulkal | 48% | 172 |
| #7 | Brodside | 48% | 84 |
| #8 | DoktorLivingStoned | 44% | 64 |
| #9 | MerBrun | 43% | 35 |
| #10 | kevin ◢◤ | 43% | 42 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Ulkal | 507 | 0.15 | 15 min |
| #2 | Brodside | 96 | 0.06 | 2 min |
| #3 | MerBrun | 96 | 0.14 | 3 min |
| #4 | DoktorLivingStoned | 82 | 0.06 | 2 min |
| #5 | kevin ◢◤ | 60 | 0.07 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Ulkal | +1.74 | 56 | 66 |
| #2 | Shrike | +0.94 | 45 | 54 |
| #3 | kevin ◢◤ | +0.39 | 61 | 66 |
| #4 | DoktorLivingStoned | +0.20 | 58 | 65 |
| #5 | Alan | -0.04 | 54 | 61 |





