










System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 299 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 319 matches | ||
| Competitive Agency | 31 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 15 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 14 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 13 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Italy | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Jura | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Basalt | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Edin | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Golden | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 18 different maps





Our logs show 28 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




9 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3658 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 16,414 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 5731 | 35% |
| Smokes | 6515 | 40% |
| HE Grenades | 608 | 4% |
| Molotovs | 3560 | 22% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,481,839 of utility $143 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 28 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | DoktorLivingStoned | 405 | 0.07 | 8 min |
| #2 | Brodside | 326 | 0.07 | 8 min |
| #3 | kevin ◢◤ | 287 | 0.08 | 9 min |
| #4 | MerBrun | 209 | 0.13 | 7 min |
| #5 | Alan | 142 | 0.04 | 4 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ???SANDMAN | +1.26 | 77 | 59 |
| #2 | Ulkal | +0.84 | 54 | 69 |
| #3 | kevin ◢◤ | +0.62 | 67 | 64 |
| #4 | DoktorLivingStoned | -0.24 | 58 | 66 |
| #5 | Alan | -0.28 | 54 | 61 |





