








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 225 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 231 matches | ||
| Wingman | 34 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 2 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 11 different maps





Our logs show 15 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




9 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2616 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 7,293 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 927 | 13% |
| Smokes | 2742 | 38% |
| HE Grenades | 2306 | 32% |
| Molotovs | 1318 | 18% |
Our logs show you have wasted $726,318 of utility $108 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 179 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | PIPHANS!!! | 53% | 91 |
| #2 | Freakbams | 48% | 212 |
| #3 | ØkoVeganskJäkarøv | 47% | 178 |
| #4 | Schnitzel | 46% | 82 |
| #5 | Noname | 45% | 110 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #2 | Freakbams | 48% | 212 |
| #3 | ØkoVeganskJäkarøv | 47% | 178 |
| #4 | Schnitzel | 46% | 82 |
| #5 | Noname | 45% | 110 |
| #6 | ½cl3an | 35% | 23 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Freakbams | 7 | 0.0016 |
| #2 | PIPHANS!!! | 4 | 0.0020 |
| #3 | ØkoVeganskJäkarøv | 3 | 0.0008 |
| #4 | Noname | 3 | 0.0012 |
| #5 | Schnitzel | 2 | 0.0012 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Freakbams | 675 | 0.15 | 18 min |
| #2 | ØkoVeganskJäkarøv | 559 | 0.14 | 14 min |
| #3 | PIPHANS!!! | 305 | 0.15 | 9 min |
| #4 | Noname | 100 | 0.04 | 4 min |
| #5 | Schnitzel | 72 | 0.04 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ¤ΛVIX¤ | +1.50 | 69 | 42 |
| #2 | PIPHANS!!! | +1.36 | 69 | 70 |
| #3 | Schnitzel | +0.98 | 78 | 50 |
| #4 | Noname | +0.20 | 55 | 54 |
| #5 | Freakbams | -1.40 | 57 | 61 |





