








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 291 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 224 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 10 different maps





Our logs show 59 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




5 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1886 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 11,065 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 3089 | 28% |
| Smokes | 2220 | 20% |
| HE Grenades | 3280 | 30% |
| Molotovs | 2476 | 22% |
Our logs show you have wasted $798,794 of utility $146 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 87 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Spartan | 61% | 23 |
| #2 | furnicwe | 61% | 23 |
| #3 | THC | 57% | 30 |
| #4 | Bladebeta | 49% | 102 |
| #5 | iLoLz | 48% | 177 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #8 | BING CHILLING | 44% | 116 |
| #9 | Unicornpant | 43% | 70 |
| #10 | {SG}H0B0 | 42% | 19 |
| #11 | Hilly | 41% | 46 |
| #12 | Mr Pugface | 40% | 42 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | SexyBears | 14 | 0.0029 |
| #2 | iLoLz | 7 | 0.0019 |
| #3 | BING CHILLING | 6 | 0.0024 |
| #4 | Mr Pugface | 4 | 0.0045 |
| #5 | Unicornpant | 3 | 0.0021 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | SexyBears | 462 | 0.10 | 12 min |
| #2 | iLoLz | 461 | 0.12 | 13 min |
| #3 | BING CHILLING | 226 | 0.09 | 5 min |
| #4 | Unicornpant | 187 | 0.13 | 5 min |
| #5 | Bladebeta | 186 | 0.09 | 6 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Blondie_ZA | +1.41 | 63 | 65 |
| #2 | Bladebeta | +1.23 | 56 | 64 |
| #3 | SexyBears | +0.63 | 46 | 61 |
| #4 | BING CHILLING | +0.60 | 39 | 54 |
| #5 | furnicwe | +0.54 | 70 | 59 |





