








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 372 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 452 matches | ||
| Faceit | 15 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 3 matches | ||
| Wingman | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Train | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 12 different maps





Our logs show 40 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




27 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
5217 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 21,661 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 6921 | 32% |
| Smokes | 6138 | 28% |
| HE Grenades | 3592 | 17% |
| Molotovs | 5010 | 23% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,034,325 of utility $93 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 485 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | mrtn | 53% | 78 |
| #2 | .n!nja | 51% | 202 |
| #3 | Toxic`Kitteh | 49% | 131 |
| #4 | hopetez | 48% | 97 |
| #5 | Tay | 47% | 55 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #2 | .n!nja | 51% | 202 |
| #3 | Toxic`Kitteh | 49% | 131 |
| #4 | hopetez | 48% | 97 |
| #5 | Tay | 47% | 55 |
| #6 | phiiiRo | 46% | 28 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | hopetez | 8 | 0.0039 |
| #2 | .n!nja | 6 | 0.0014 |
| #3 | Toxic`Kitteh | 6 | 0.0021 |
| #4 | Tay | 4 | 0.0033 |
| #5 | mrtn | 1 | 0.0006 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Toxic`Kitteh | 499 | 0.18 | 13 min |
| #2 | .n!nja | 351 | 0.08 | 8 min |
| #3 | mrtn | 221 | 0.13 | 6 min |
| #4 | Tay | 165 | 0.13 | 5 min |
| #5 | hopetez | 113 | 0.06 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | mrtn | +3.01 | 73 | 71 |
| #2 | KillerExpress | +0.84 | 69 | 66 |
| #3 | .n!nja | -0.81 | 62 | 54 |
| #4 | hopetez | -1.07 | 59 | 50 |
| #5 | Toxic`Kitteh | -1.33 | 53 | 64 |





