








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 408 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 228 matches | ||
| Faceit | 41 matches | ||
| Wingman | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 13 different maps





Our logs show 38 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




14 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
4607 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 17,023 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 3576 | 21% |
| Smokes | 5125 | 30% |
| HE Grenades | 5640 | 33% |
| Molotovs | 2682 | 16% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,004,336 of utility $119 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 69 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Àambuglar | 56% | 133 |
| #2 | .n!nja | 54% | 155 |
| #3 | KillerExpress | 53% | 78 |
| #4 | Tay | 52% | 300 |
| #5 | Toxic`Kitteh | 52% | 83 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Tay | 10 | 0.0016 |
| #2 | I dispense wisdom | 9 | 0.0024 |
| #3 | Àambuglar | 6 | 0.0022 |
| #4 | easor | 6 | 0.0024 |
| #5 | .n!nja | 3 | 0.0009 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Ephickz | 1562 | 0.33 | 32 min |
| #2 | Tay | 814 | 0.13 | 25 min |
| #3 | Toxic`Kitteh | 325 | 0.18 | 8 min |
| #4 | KillerExpress | 307 | 0.18 | 6 min |
| #5 | I dispense wisdom | 281 | 0.08 | 8 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | mrtn | +2.91 | 75 | 73 |
| #2 | KillerExpress | +0.93 | 64 | 65 |
| #3 | I dispense wisdom | +0.78 | 55 | 65 |
| #4 | easor | +0.28 | 81 | 52 |
| #5 | .n!nja | -0.59 | 62 | 53 |





