








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 147 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 295 matches | ||
| Faceit | 24 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 2 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 10 different maps





Our logs show 11 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




10 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3988 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 6,697 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1785 | 27% |
| Smokes | 1508 | 23% |
| HE Grenades | 2056 | 31% |
| Molotovs | 1348 | 20% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,620,860 of utility $211 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 51 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | easor | 62% | 26 |
| #2 | hopetez | 55% | 55 |
| #3 | mrtn | 54% | 155 |
| #4 | Tay | 52% | 124 |
| #5 | I dispense wisdom | 52% | 42 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #7 | Toxic`Kitteh | 48% | 213 |
| #8 | Ephickz | 46% | 54 |
| #9 | Stoopid. | 37% | 52 |
| #10 | xKrypton1x | 35% | 37 |
| #11 | Fresh Dumbledore | 35% | 23 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | KillerExpress | 11 | 0.0025 |
| #2 | Toxic`Kitteh | 7 | 0.0015 |
| #3 | Tay | 6 | 0.0022 |
| #4 | mrtn | 4 | 0.0012 |
| #5 | hopetez | 4 | 0.0034 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Toxic`Kitteh | 839 | 0.19 | 21 min |
| #2 | KillerExpress | 772 | 0.18 | 19 min |
| #3 | mrtn | 441 | 0.13 | 13 min |
| #4 | Ephickz | 395 | 0.33 | 9 min |
| #5 | Tay | 345 | 0.13 | 11 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | mrtn | +2.65 | 76 | 74 |
| #2 | KillerExpress | +1.76 | 68 | 66 |
| #3 | I dispense wisdom | +0.77 | 61 | 69 |
| #4 | easor | +0.68 | 85 | 50 |
| #5 | .n!nja | +0.02 | 63 | 52 |





