








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 499 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 44 matches | ||
| Faceit | 23 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 15 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 10 different maps





Our logs show 30 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




13 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1245 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 3,885 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1030 | 27% |
| Smokes | 944 | 24% |
| HE Grenades | 1329 | 34% |
| Molotovs | 582 | 15% |
Our logs show you have wasted $526,855 of utility $208 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 478 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Stagodorus | 64% | 33 |
| #2 | DROP.FORESKIN | 62% | 21 |
| #3 | Lewis | 58% | 24 |
| #4 | UNCLE | 58% | 24 |
| #5 | tammy gaming | 54% | 93 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Stagodorus | 64% | 33 |
| #2 | DROP.FORESKIN | 62% | 21 |
| #3 | Lewis | 58% | 24 |
| #4 | UNCLE | 58% | 24 |
| #5 | tammy gaming | 54% | 93 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | tammy gaming | 10 | 0.0051 |
| #2 | Lewis | 7 | 0.0132 |
| #3 | UNCLE | 7 | 0.0136 |
| #4 | Stagodorus | 3 | 0.0040 |
| #5 | DROP.FORESKIN | 2 | 0.0042 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | tammy gaming | 486 | 0.25 | 12 min |
| #2 | UNCLE | 132 | 0.26 | 3 min |
| #3 | DROP.FORESKIN | 121 | 0.25 | 4 min |
| #4 | Stagodorus | 105 | 0.14 | 3 min |
| #5 | Lewis | 39 | 0.07 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | UNCLE | +3.45 | 79 | 68 |
| #2 | Charles | +1.47 | 67 | 62 |
| #3 | tammy gaming | +1.09 | 74 | 72 |
| #4 | Lewis | -0.45 | 75 | 51 |
| #5 | DROP.FORESKIN | -1.66 | 64 | 64 |





