








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 601 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 401 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 89 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 22 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 22 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 18 matches | ||
| Faceit | 17 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 16 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 15 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 15 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 13 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Edin | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Jura | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Agency | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Basalt | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 18 different maps





Our logs show 51 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




34 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
4543 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 26,520 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 5287 | 20% |
| Smokes | 4947 | 19% |
| HE Grenades | 10161 | 38% |
| Molotovs | 6125 | 23% |
Our logs show you have wasted $2,866,733 of utility $185 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 287 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | 2DMZ3 | 442 | 0.13 | 9 min |
| #2 | O'block member .223 | 267 | 0.22 | 6 min |
| #3 | iNye | 204 | 0.13 | 4 min |
| #4 | Mobiwan | 159 | 0.08 | 4 min |
| #5 | (mapclean9rs) GreGo | 127 | 0.14 | 3 min |





