










System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 103 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Inferno | 16 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 14 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 11 different maps





Our logs show 11 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




3 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
762 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 2,428 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 888 | 37% |
| Smokes | 471 | 19% |
| HE Grenades | 766 | 32% |
| Molotovs | 303 | 12% |
Our logs show you have wasted $335,712 of utility $188 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 66 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | moke | 9 | 0.0205 |
| #2 | i lizard king | 6 | 0.0076 |
| #3 | glonky | 2 | 0.0018 |
| #4 | Horny Guy | 2 | 0.0038 |
| #5 | I'm Really On Some Other Shit | 1 | 0.0007 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | moke | 102 | 0.23 | 2 min |
| #2 | glonky | 87 | 0.08 | 2 min |
| #3 | I'm Really On Some Other Shit | 79 | 0.06 | 2 min |
| #4 | Glover | 77 | 0.13 | 2 min |
| #5 | Dra'nakyuek | 73 | 0.21 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Dra'nakyuek | +3.80 | 72 | 73 |
| #2 | doob | +3.13 | 80 | 71 |
| #3 | I'm Really On Some Other Shit | +0.88 | 56 | 45 |
| #4 | CARL | +0.80 | 68 | 62 |
| #5 | tony bogues | +0.74 | 76 | 63 |





