








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 446 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 212 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 3 matches | ||
| Premier | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 8 different maps





Our logs show 6 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




4 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2519 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 8,631 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2290 | 27% |
| Smokes | 2776 | 32% |
| HE Grenades | 1444 | 17% |
| Molotovs | 2121 | 25% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,025,052 of utility $180 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 117 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | comiskey | 65% | 17 |
| #2 | jR-NASTY | 61% | 23 |
| #3 | Nyx | 58% | 24 |
| #4 | TinNeR | 57% | 23 |
| #5 | flexxz12 | 45% | 20 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #5 | flexxz12 | 45% | 20 |
| #6 | Twitch.tv/ChrisJoswickGaming | 41% | 41 |
| #7 | Jaden | 41% | 44 |
| #8 | luck257 | 41% | 54 |
| #9 | AlaNo | 36% | 14 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Twitch.tv/ChrisJoswickGaming | 3 | 0.0035 |
| #2 | AlaNo | 3 | 0.0100 |
| #3 | luck257 | 2 | 0.0017 |
| #4 | Nyx | 2 | 0.0041 |
| #5 | jR-NASTY | 2 | 0.0043 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | luck257 | 248 | 0.21 | 7 min |
| #2 | Twitch.tv/ChrisJoswickGaming | 172 | 0.20 | 4 min |
| #3 | Jaden | 161 | 0.17 | 4 min |
| #4 | Nyx | 147 | 0.30 | 4 min |
| #5 | jR-NASTY | 137 | 0.30 | 5 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | jR-NASTY | +3.01 | 66 | 81 |
| #2 | Jaden | +2.44 | 77 | 66 |
| #3 | AlaNo | +1.37 | 71 | 46 |
| #4 | TinNeR | +1.08 | 67 | 75 |
| #5 | flexxz12 | +1.05 | 83 | 53 |





