








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 1351 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 647 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Train | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show 61 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




36 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
4520 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 27,726 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 8600 | 31% |
| Smokes | 7517 | 27% |
| HE Grenades | 5447 | 20% |
| Molotovs | 6162 | 22% |
Our logs show you have wasted $2,149,831 of utility $148 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 6391 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #9 | J_Dawg | 48% | 44 |
| #10 | Space Cadet | 44% | 64 |
| #11 | xMoonbearz | 42% | 38 |
| #12 | AngelofDev | 40% | 114 |
| #13 | r0m3sa | 39% | 54 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Reality | 25 | 0.0051 |
| #2 | joshstxnley TTV | 23 | 0.0141 |
| #3 | Space Cadet | 12 | 0.0090 |
| #4 | TheRealClayto | 11 | 0.0037 |
| #5 | Bulky_ | 7 | 0.0069 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Reality | 777 | 0.16 | 21 min |
| #2 | xMoonbearz | 290 | 0.37 | 7 min |
| #3 | joshstxnley TTV | 260 | 0.16 | 5 min |
| #4 | TheRealClayto | 212 | 0.07 | 5 min |
| #5 | AngelofDev | 151 | 0.07 | 4 min |





