








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 119 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 134 matches | ||
| Faceit | 58 matches | ||
| Wingman | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Edin | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 14 different maps





Our logs show 6 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




25 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3140 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 7,578 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2448 | 32% |
| Smokes | 1775 | 23% |
| HE Grenades | 1760 | 23% |
| Molotovs | 1595 | 21% |
Our logs show you have wasted $703,750 of utility $125 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 177 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Trayder | 69% | 16 |
| #2 | Yvo | 65% | 20 |
| #3 | flaze ➹ | 63% | 16 |
| #4 | maddin | 62% | 53 |
| #5 | dnz ツ | 62% | 37 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #6 | zuLE * | 62% | 58 |
| #7 | Skoll | 61% | 72 |
| #8 | Optimistic | 60% | 30 |
| #9 | JuliO | 56% | 52 |
| #10 | Andi | 43% | 14 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Trayder | 3 | 0.0090 |
| #2 | Skoll | 2 | 0.0013 |
| #3 | zuLE * | 2 | 0.0016 |
| #4 | JuliO | 1 | 0.0009 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | maddin | 232 | 0.20 | 6 min |
| #2 | Skoll | 177 | 0.11 | 4 min |
| #3 | JuliO | 157 | 0.14 | 4 min |
| #4 | zuLE * | 131 | 0.11 | 4 min |
| #5 | dnz ツ | 110 | 0.15 | 3 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Trayder | +3.88 | 76 | 50 |
| #2 | BORO37 | +2.45 | 88 | 61 |
| #3 | flaze ➹ | +1.22 | 87 | 79 |
| #4 | Skoll | +0.59 | 73 | 62 |
| #5 | zuLE * | +0.23 | 69 | 67 |





