








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 178 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 132 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show 3 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




3 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2031 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 4,948 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1530 | 31% |
| Smokes | 1347 | 27% |
| HE Grenades | 977 | 20% |
| Molotovs | 1094 | 22% |
Our logs show you have wasted $614,069 of utility $157 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 98 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | スーパーサヤン unser | 77% | 13 |
| #2 | flaze ➹ | 68% | 28 |
| #3 | maddin | 65% | 91 |
| #4 | BORO37 | 61% | 72 |
| #5 | DAV3Y- | 60% | 25 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #6 | JuliO | 59% | 116 |
| #7 | dnz ツ | 58% | 12 |
| #8 | Optimistic | 56% | 70 |
| #9 | zuLE * | 55% | 44 |
| #10 | Yvo | 48% | 31 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | BORO37 | 1 | 0.0006 |
| #2 | DAV3Y- | 1 | 0.0018 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | maddin | 441 | 0.21 | 13 min |
| #2 | JuliO | 412 | 0.16 | 12 min |
| #3 | BORO37 | 263 | 0.16 | 7 min |
| #4 | flaze ➹ | 190 | 0.30 | 6 min |
| #5 | Optimistic | 146 | 0.09 | 3 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | flaze ➹ | +2.66 | 88 | 84 |
| #2 | BORO37 | +1.90 | 85 | 69 |
| #3 | Skoll | +1.29 | 75 | 63 |
| #4 | スーパーサヤン unser | +0.99 | 91 | 63 |
| #5 | dnz ツ | +0.20 | 69 | 72 |





