








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 76 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 33 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 15 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 12 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 3 matches | ||
| Wingman | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show 12 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




23 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1481 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 5,268 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1568 | 30% |
| Smokes | 1043 | 20% |
| HE Grenades | 1488 | 28% |
| Molotovs | 1169 | 22% |
Our logs show you have wasted $196,994 of utility $77 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 310 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #3 | Динамит | 57% | 51 |
| #4 | Heavy Stimmy Operator | 56% | 9 |
| #5 | maybe エゴ犬を落とす | 55% | 44 |
| #6 | BANG>>> | 48% | 21 |
| #7 | rx | 36% | 22 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Динамит | 22 | 0.0220 |
| #2 | maybe エゴ犬を落とす | 2 | 0.0023 |
| #3 | rx | 2 | 0.0047 |
| #4 | Heavy Stimmy Operator | 1 | 0.0063 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | maybe エゴ犬を落とす | 148 | 0.17 | 4 min |
| #2 | Динамит | 125 | 0.13 | 3 min |
| #3 | Heavy Stimmy Operator | 31 | 0.19 | 1 min |
| #4 | Pirdis Durnis | 30 | 0.17 | 0 min |
| #5 | rx | 21 | 0.05 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Динамит | +2.91 | 69 | 48 |
| #2 | Heavy Stimmy Operator | +2.55 | 78 | 65 |
| #3 | maybe エゴ犬を落とす | +1.77 | 67 | 71 |
| #4 | cadillaq | +1.43 | 78 | 68 |
| #5 | Pirdis Durnis | -0.60 | 65 | 71 |





