








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 71 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 149 matches | ||
| Faceit | 27 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 6 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 8 different maps





Our logs show 20 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




3 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1739 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 9,399 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2480 | 26% |
| Smokes | 2580 | 27% |
| HE Grenades | 2661 | 28% |
| Molotovs | 1678 | 18% |
Our logs show you have wasted $459,177 of utility $94 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 48 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | mac | 53% | 36 |
| #2 | EMPLOYER | 51% | 156 |
| #3 | Huggyy | 48% | 50 |
| #4 | Lord Pretty Flacko Jonny | 42% | 12 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | mac | 53% | 36 |
| #2 | EMPLOYER | 51% | 156 |
| #3 | Huggyy | 48% | 50 |
| #4 | Lord Pretty Flacko Jonny | 42% | 12 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | EMPLOYER | 5 | 0.0016 |
| #2 | mac | 1 | 0.0013 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | EMPLOYER | 140 | 0.04 | 4 min |
| #2 | Huggyy | 87 | 0.08 | 2 min |
| #3 | mac | 52 | 0.07 | 1 min |
| #4 | Lord Pretty Flacko Jonny | 28 | 0.11 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Huggyy | +2.65 | 72 | 44 |
| #2 | EMPLOYER | +1.13 | 50 | 60 |
| #3 | Twiggels | -0.30 | 52 | 71 |
| #4 | Lord Pretty Flacko Jonny | -1.58 | 57 | 59 |
| #5 | mac | -1.64 | 47 | 46 |





