








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 4 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September
The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show No Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




1 of your human shaped victims was your teammate...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
180 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 641 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 205 | 32% |
| Smokes | 179 | 28% |
| HE Grenades | 208 | 32% |
| Molotovs | 49 | 8% |
Our logs show you have wasted $51,441 of utility $110 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 3 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Yer Auld Da | 100% | 2 |
| #2 | Twiggels | 42% | 12 |
| #3 | mac | 41% | 17 |
| #4 | EMPLOYER | 38% | 13 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Yer Auld Da | 100% | 2 |
| #2 | Twiggels | 42% | 12 |
| #3 | mac | 41% | 17 |
| #4 | EMPLOYER | 38% | 13 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | EMPLOYER | 2 | 0.0072 |
| #2 | mac | 1 | 0.0027 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | mac | 42 | 0.11 | 1 min |
| #2 | Twiggels | 34 | 0.14 | 1 min |
| #3 | EMPLOYER | 20 | 0.07 | 1 min |
| #4 | Yer Auld Da | 2 | 0.04 | 0 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | EMPLOYER | +0.43 | 58 | 63 |
| #2 | Twiggels | -1.17 | 50 | 74 |
| #3 | Yer Auld Da | -1.33 | 26 | 41 |
| #4 | mac | -1.80 | 46 | 44 |
| #5 | Lord Pretty Flacko Jonny | -1.88 | 48 | 59 |





