








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 277 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 24 matches | ||
| Faceit | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Train | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show 9 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




0 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Your loyalty is impressive.
577 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 1,714 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 385 | 22% |
| Smokes | 341 | 20% |
| HE Grenades | 578 | 34% |
| Molotovs | 410 | 24% |
Our logs show you have wasted $251,040 of utility $218 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 16 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Vacant | 71% | 7 |
| #2 | ♛K1NG⚔ | 67% | 6 |
| #3 | Krims0n | 60% | 5 |
| #4 | celery | 60% | 5 |
| #5 | Jesus Saves | 52% | 48 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #6 | thr!ce | 50% | 4 |
| #7 | WorldxChaos | 46% | 35 |
| #8 | Sharki | 43% | 7 |
| #9 | KA1 | 33% | 9 |
| #10 | Rascal | 14% | 7 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | WorldxChaos | 3 | 0.0039 |
| #2 | Jesus Saves | 2 | 0.0019 |
| #3 | Vacant | 1 | 0.0081 |
| #4 | celery | 1 | 0.0095 |
| #5 | thr!ce | 1 | 0.0127 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Jesus Saves | 189 | 0.18 | 5 min |
| #2 | WorldxChaos | 125 | 0.16 | 2 min |
| #3 | KA1 | 37 | 0.19 | 1 min |
| #4 | Sharki | 33 | 0.20 | 1 min |
| #5 | Vacant | 30 | 0.24 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | celery | +3.68 | 88 | 89 |
| #2 | WorldxChaos | +2.74 | 87 | 57 |
| #3 | skrrrrt | +1.16 | 75 | 60 |
| #4 | Krims0n | -0.06 | 70 | 72 |
| #5 | thr!ce | -0.12 | 75 | 81 |





