








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 326 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 71 matches | ||
| Wingman | 36 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 25 matches | ||
| Competitive Agency | 12 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 7 matches | ||
| Faceit | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Edin | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Palacio | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Basalt | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 26 different maps





Our logs show 23 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




33 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2518 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 7,436 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 3058 | 41% |
| Smokes | 860 | 12% |
| HE Grenades | 1816 | 24% |
| Molotovs | 1702 | 23% |
Our logs show you have wasted $519,251 of utility $87 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 302 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | celery | 73% | 22 |
| #2 | Speedyw69 | 61% | 18 |
| #3 | Kotri | 56% | 71 |
| #4 | manc119 | 54% | 57 |
| #5 | Lite | 53% | 90 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Lite | 7 | 0.0040 |
| #2 | Kotri | 7 | 0.0050 |
| #3 | BOWLCUT | 3 | 0.0014 |
| #4 | ItsNav | 3 | 0.0039 |
| #5 | celery | 3 | 0.0069 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Lite | 286 | 0.16 | 6 min |
| #2 | manc119 | 241 | 0.19 | 5 min |
| #3 | ItsNav | 235 | 0.30 | 5 min |
| #4 | Kotri | 119 | 0.08 | 3 min |
| #5 | BOWLCUT | 102 | 0.05 | 3 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | celery | +3.61 | 87 | 70 |
| #2 | nok | +3.29 | 78 | 56 |
| #3 | Lite | +2.69 | 77 | 64 |
| #4 | Beaver | +2.43 | 71 | 59 |
| #5 | BOWLCUT | +1.35 | 73 | 60 |





