








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 16 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September
The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Mirage | 29 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 26 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 12 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 3 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 10 different maps





Our logs show No Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




1 of your human shaped victims was your teammate...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
443 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 1,286 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 77 | 6% |
| Smokes | 333 | 26% |
| HE Grenades | 442 | 34% |
| Molotovs | 434 | 34% |
Our logs show you have wasted $353,291 of utility $164 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 14 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Xentriske | 61% | 33 |
| #2 | Xentric | 58% | 26 |
| #3 | Tizzed Up! | 55% | 11 |
| #4 | Zikzak | 52% | 109 |
| #5 | Fikz | 42% | 24 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Xentriske | 61% | 33 |
| #2 | Xentric | 58% | 26 |
| #3 | Tizzed Up! | 55% | 11 |
| #4 | Zikzak | 52% | 109 |
| #5 | Fikz | 42% | 24 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Zikzak | 4 | 0.0019 |
| #2 | Xentric | 2 | 0.0039 |
| #3 | Fikz | 2 | 0.0042 |
| #4 | Xentriske | 1 | 0.0016 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Zikzak | 371 | 0.18 | 10 min |
| #2 | Fikz | 111 | 0.23 | 3 min |
| #3 | Xentriske | 86 | 0.13 | 2 min |
| #4 | Xentric | 83 | 0.16 | 2 min |
| #5 | Tizzed Up! | 69 | 0.32 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Xentriske | +5.97 | 55 | 65 |
| #2 | Xentric | +5.77 | 43 | 62 |
| #3 | Zikzak | +2.35 | 53 | 70 |
| #4 | Fikz | +0.98 | 56 | 70 |
| #5 | Tizzed Up! | -0.59 | 25 | 78 |





