








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 67 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 32 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 11 matches | ||
| Premier | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 3 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show 10 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




3 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1017 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 4,201 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 823 | 20% |
| Smokes | 1147 | 27% |
| HE Grenades | 1274 | 30% |
| Molotovs | 957 | 23% |
Our logs show you have wasted $591,333 of utility $220 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 29 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | El Snollefar | 64% | 11 |
| #2 | Dr. Noscope | 58% | 60 |
| #3 | Fikz | 58% | 71 |
| #4 | Kazpariuz | 58% | 26 |
| #5 | Tizzed Up! | 57% | 54 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Fikz | 4 | 0.0027 |
| #2 | Dr. Noscope | 2 | 0.0015 |
| #3 | ♛Haps♛ | 2 | 0.0016 |
| #4 | Tizzed Up! | 1 | 0.0009 |
| #5 | Zikzak | 1 | 0.0014 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Tizzed Up! | 283 | 0.24 | 8 min |
| #2 | Fikz | 233 | 0.16 | 6 min |
| #3 | Goat Juice ⛴ | 213 | 0.30 | 6 min |
| #4 | Dr. Noscope | 152 | 0.12 | 4 min |
| #5 | Zikzak | 125 | 0.17 | 4 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ♛Haps♛ | +2.02 | 67 | 61 |
| #2 | Xentric | +1.92 | 46 | 58 |
| #3 | Fikz | +1.04 | 57 | 66 |
| #4 | Dr. Noscope | +0.86 | 70 | 63 |
| #5 | Zikzak | -0.38 | 43 | 70 |





