








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 11 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September
The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 55 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 13 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 12 different maps





Our logs show 2 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




18 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1168 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 3,289 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 693 | 21% |
| Smokes | 396 | 12% |
| HE Grenades | 971 | 30% |
| Molotovs | 1229 | 37% |
Our logs show you have wasted $670,733 of utility $204 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 27 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Shuppa | 65% | 17 |
| #2 | SirBubblebutt | 54% | 35 |
| #3 | MWK | 54% | 39 |
| #4 | 3MoomiN)) | 45% | 42 |
| #5 | ʋιȥԃ | 45% | 49 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #5 | ʋιȥԃ | 45% | 49 |
| #6 | SFB | 43% | 14 |
| #7 | baRy | 43% | 68 |
| #8 | Glörb | 36% | 22 |
| #9 | PLUH | 31% | 13 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | MWK | 7 | 0.0091 |
| #2 | baRy | 6 | 0.0042 |
| #3 | ʋιȥԃ | 3 | 0.0029 |
| #4 | 3MoomiN)) | 2 | 0.0024 |
| #5 | PLUH | 2 | 0.0075 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | baRy | 200 | 0.14 | 4 min |
| #2 | 3MoomiN)) | 108 | 0.13 | 3 min |
| #3 | ʋιȥԃ | 69 | 0.07 | 2 min |
| #4 | MWK | 69 | 0.09 | 1 min |
| #5 | PLUH | 63 | 0.24 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | SirBubblebutt | +3.23 | 55 | 59 |
| #2 | PLUH | +3.07 | 63 | 59 |
| #3 | baRy | +1.74 | 72 | 63 |
| #4 | Glörb | +1.05 | 44 | 42 |
| #5 | ʋιȥԃ | +0.52 | 55 | 61 |





