








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 28 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 10 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 7 different maps





Our logs show No Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




0 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Your loyalty is impressive.
168 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 610 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 162 | 27% |
| Smokes | 160 | 26% |
| HE Grenades | 151 | 25% |
| Molotovs | 137 | 22% |
Our logs show you have wasted $46,726 of utility $139 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 29 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #5 | L1ND | 75% | 4 |
| #6 | FrekaFiskeNN^^ | 60% | 5 |
| #7 | Bukhavez | 60% | 5 |
| #8 | Botman | 60% | 5 |
| #9 | lau's | 50% | 2 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Botman | 25 | 0.26 | 1 min |
| #2 | stavn | 21 | 0.32 | 1 min |
| #3 | L1ND | 16 | 0.16 | 1 min |
| #4 | FrekaFiskeNN^^ | 15 | 0.15 | 1 min |
| #5 | Bukhavez | 14 | 0.16 | 0 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | stavn | +6.43 | 88 | 63 |
| #2 | L1ND | +4.12 | 87 | 70 |
| #3 | Dinkkeling | +3.94 | 87 | 55 |
| #4 | Bukhavez | +2.71 | 89 | 60 |
| #5 | Frøslevv | +1.55 | 80 | 70 |





