








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 309 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 81 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 23 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 14 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 2 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 14 different maps





Our logs show 23 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




5 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1242 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 5,538 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1180 | 21% |
| Smokes | 821 | 15% |
| HE Grenades | 1796 | 32% |
| Molotovs | 1741 | 31% |
Our logs show you have wasted $564,294 of utility $121 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 84 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | momb | 53% | 80 |
| #2 | bubble milk tea | 52% | 33 |
| #3 | myr | 47% | 213 |
| #4 | saya | 46% | 39 |
| #5 | ✪ scrfed | 46% | 48 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #4 | saya | 46% | 39 |
| #5 | ✪ scrfed | 46% | 48 |
| #6 | Got-woo | 43% | 14 |
| #7 | Lyn Gamington | 42% | 79 |
| #8 | Cleon | 35% | 17 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | myr | 22 | 0.0051 |
| #2 | Lyn Gamington | 11 | 0.0066 |
| #3 | momb | 8 | 0.0052 |
| #4 | ✪ scrfed | 5 | 0.0049 |
| #5 | saya | 2 | 0.0025 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | myr | 848 | 0.20 | 17 min |
| #2 | ✪ scrfed | 298 | 0.29 | 6 min |
| #3 | momb | 154 | 0.10 | 4 min |
| #4 | Lyn Gamington | 123 | 0.07 | 2 min |
| #5 | bubble milk tea | 94 | 0.14 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | momb | +3.16 | 62 | 45 |
| #2 | bubble milk tea | +2.83 | 78 | 55 |
| #3 | myr | +1.76 | 48 | 65 |
| #4 | Got-woo | +1.29 | 59 | 55 |
| #5 | ✪ scrfed | +0.71 | 57 | 52 |





