








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 360 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Dust2 | 107 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 80 matches | ||
| Premier | 49 matches | ||
| Wingman | 43 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 37 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 27 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 13 matches | ||
| Faceit | 13 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 3 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 19 different maps





Our logs show 19 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




15 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
4322 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 7,773 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2524 | 32% |
| Smokes | 1087 | 14% |
| HE Grenades | 1689 | 22% |
| Molotovs | 2473 | 32% |
Our logs show you have wasted $865,610 of utility $94 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 607 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | SleaZy | 67% | 46 |
| #2 | Tr15taN ☁ | 59% | 39 |
| #3 | Kommissaire | 57% | 35 |
| #4 | FreeZe :) | 56% | 82 |
| #5 | ElDiab3tic | 52% | 29 |





