








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 36 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Nuke | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 6 different maps





Our logs show 1 Chicken Has been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




0 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Your loyalty is impressive.
52 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 175 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 35 | 20% |
| Smokes | 58 | 33% |
| HE Grenades | 9 | 5% |
| Molotovs | 73 | 42% |
Our logs show you have wasted $24,500 of utility $163 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 0 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | stazzz | 50% | 2 |
| #2 | KingZeus | 50% | 2 |
| #3 | ze pump | 29% | 7 |
| #4 | viaxdolphin | 25% | 4 |
| #5 | slink | 25% | 4 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #2 | KingZeus | 50% | 2 |
| #3 | ze pump | 29% | 7 |
| #4 | viaxdolphin | 25% | 4 |
| #5 | slink | 25% | 4 |
| #6 | LaLune | 20% | 5 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | stazzz | 2 | 0.0541 |
| #2 | viaxdolphin | 1 | 0.0110 |
| #3 | slink | 1 | 0.0110 |
| #4 | KingZeus | 1 | 0.0270 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ze pump | 48 | 0.32 | 1 min |
| #2 | viaxdolphin | 15 | 0.16 | 1 min |
| #3 | KingZeus | 9 | 0.24 | 0 min |
| #4 | LaLune | 6 | 0.05 | 0 min |
| #5 | slink | 4 | 0.04 | 0 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | stazzz | +7.50 | 93 | 38 |
| #2 | ze pump | +5.35 | 81 | 68 |
| #3 | KingZeus | +3.18 | 77 | 5 |
| #4 | LaLune | -1.84 | 78 | 49 |
| #5 | slink | -1.93 | 36 | 40 |





