








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 562 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 415 matches | ||
| Faceit | 42 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 13 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 9 matches | ||
| Wingman | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Agency | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 12 different maps





Our logs show 31 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




15 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3922 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 18,238 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 3815 | 21% |
| Smokes | 4672 | 26% |
| HE Grenades | 5199 | 29% |
| Molotovs | 4552 | 25% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,874,930 of utility $157 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 36 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #3 | Un | 56% | 48 |
| #4 | LOVER | 55% | 108 |
| #5 | Overdozze | 53% | 324 |
| #6 | mathiaz | 51% | 187 |
| #7 | MonkeyDy | 51% | 250 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | MonkeyDy | 15 | 0.0029 |
| #2 | LOVER | 12 | 0.0053 |
| #3 | Overdozze | 8 | 0.0012 |
| #4 | mathiaz | 8 | 0.0020 |
| #5 | ApouKinG | 6 | 0.0031 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Overdozze | 1490 | 0.22 | 47 min |
| #2 | MonkeyDy | 1146 | 0.22 | 32 min |
| #3 | LOVER | 437 | 0.19 | 9 min |
| #4 | ApouKinG | 271 | 0.14 | 6 min |
| #5 | mathiaz | 188 | 0.05 | 6 min |





