








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 22 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 109 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 2 matches | ||
| Faceit | 2 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show No Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




8 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1148 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 3,725 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1189 | 32% |
| Smokes | 1335 | 36% |
| HE Grenades | 624 | 17% |
| Molotovs | 577 | 15% |
Our logs show you have wasted $104,888 of utility $38 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 2 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #6 | Freaky Fred | 48% | 65 |
| #7 | rizlaQ | 46% | 37 |
| #8 | peak male performance | 39% | 44 |
| #9 | Diony | 38% | 16 |
| #10 | Mišokrawa | 30% | 23 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | peak male performance | 4 | 0.0041 |
| #2 | Freaky Fred | 2 | 0.0014 |
| #3 | Diony | 2 | 0.0065 |
| #4 | chilly | 1 | 0.0010 |
| #5 | rizlaQ | 1 | 0.0013 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Freaky Fred | 180 | 0.13 | 5 min |
| #2 | peak male performance | 157 | 0.16 | 3 min |
| #3 | Astromanium | 154 | 0.14 | 4 min |
| #4 | chilly | 99 | 0.10 | 2 min |
| #5 | Mišokrawa | 52 | 0.11 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | dynamiK | +5.26 | 70 | 68 |
| #2 | OXYG3N | +1.95 | 61 | 67 |
| #3 | Freaky Fred | +1.14 | 46 | 59 |
| #4 | Diony | +1.01 | 53 | 48 |
| #5 | peak male performance | +0.66 | 59 | 55 |





