








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 202 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 68 matches | ||
| Premier | 33 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 14 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 4 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show 11 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




15 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1549 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 5,122 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1512 | 30% |
| Smokes | 1655 | 32% |
| HE Grenades | 920 | 18% |
| Molotovs | 1035 | 20% |
Our logs show you have wasted $424,013 of utility $117 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 579 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #11 | zormanaabi | 41% | 22 |
| #12 | Ameterasu | 35% | 26 |
| #13 | pavi10 | 33% | 18 |
| #14 | HasoCan | 30% | 20 |
| #15 | Muh | 25% | 28 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Ameterasu | 4 | 0.0078 |
| #2 | OraO | 2 | 0.0012 |
| #3 | tgm-mcl | 2 | 0.0047 |
| #4 | Muh | 1 | 0.0017 |
| #5 | zormanaabi | 1 | 0.0022 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | OraO | 260 | 0.16 | 6 min |
| #2 | Kursat_Aga | 161 | 0.18 | 4 min |
| #3 | Ameterasu | 114 | 0.22 | 3 min |
| #4 | The Devil | 111 | 0.24 | 3 min |
| #5 | Havnor | 97 | 0.08 | 2 min |





