








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 306 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Agency | 48 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 42 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 29 matches | ||
| Premier | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 10 matches | ||
| Wingman | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Italy | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Palacio | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Golden | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Jura | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 16 different maps





Our logs show 9 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




79 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1243 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 2,589 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 569 | 22% |
| Smokes | 557 | 22% |
| HE Grenades | 763 | 29% |
| Molotovs | 700 | 27% |
Our logs show you have wasted $472,664 of utility $123 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 693 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | HONDAMAN | 60% | 10 |
| #2 | Murmur | 54% | 114 |
| #3 | Bald | 53% | 89 |
| #4 | BOT Stirk | 46% | 46 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | HONDAMAN | 60% | 10 |
| #2 | Murmur | 54% | 114 |
| #3 | Bald | 53% | 89 |
| #4 | BOT Stirk | 46% | 46 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | BOT Stirk | 22 | 0.0240 |
| #2 | Murmur | 16 | 0.0072 |
| #3 | Bald | 16 | 0.0093 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Bald | 449 | 0.26 | 9 min |
| #2 | Murmur | 134 | 0.06 | 2 min |
| #3 | BOT Stirk | 69 | 0.08 | 1 min |
| #4 | HONDAMAN | 32 | 0.19 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Bald | +7.60 | 90 | 59 |
| #2 | BOT Stirk | +1.78 | 46 | 38 |
| #3 | Murmur | -1.06 | 26 | 39 |
| #4 | 𝕭𝖆𝖉 𝕭𝖔𝖞 💘 | -1.35 | 30 | 32 |
| #5 | HONDAMAN | -3.82 | 36 | 38 |





