








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 1225 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 549 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 85 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 25 matches | ||
| Wingman | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Train | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 12 different maps





Our logs show 41 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




31 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
8531 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 28,515 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 7807 | 27% |
| Smokes | 7786 | 27% |
| HE Grenades | 6049 | 21% |
| Molotovs | 6873 | 24% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,351,416 of utility $88 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 2319 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | neko go nyan | 67% | 45 |
| #2 | ProspeKt | 64% | 61 |
| #3 | HVS ||W!Z^RD|| | 62% | 84 |
| #4 | JoKeR | 61% | 92 |
| #5 | Monkey D. Poopy | 55% | 73 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ✪PinocchioF | 24 | 0.0086 |
| #2 | GaMgAm | 13 | 0.0045 |
| #3 | HVS ||W!Z^RD|| | 9 | 0.0051 |
| #4 | CanniZar0 | 7 | 0.0062 |
| #5 | Monkey D. Poopy | 5 | 0.0033 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | HVS ||W!Z^RD|| | 307 | 0.17 | 9 min |
| #2 | JoKeR | 288 | 0.14 | 7 min |
| #3 | ✪PinocchioF | 251 | 0.09 | 5 min |
| #4 | neko go nyan | 210 | 0.21 | 5 min |
| #5 | GaMgAm | 167 | 0.06 | 4 min |





