








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 542 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 168 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 44 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 43 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 13 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 12 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 5 matches | ||
| Wingman | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Agency | 2 matches | ||
| Faceit | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Grail | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 13 different maps





Our logs show 19 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




51 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
4345 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 6,646 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1379 | 21% |
| Smokes | 1959 | 29% |
| HE Grenades | 1912 | 29% |
| Molotovs | 1396 | 21% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,299,377 of utility $169 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 699 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #8 | The Awesomezter | 46% | 24 |
| #9 | GaMgAm | 46% | 188 |
| #10 | Drug Dealer | 44% | 134 |
| #11 | SeN0ir | 37% | 19 |
| #12 | HVS ||W!Z^RD|| | 35% | 20 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | CanniZar0 | 32 | 0.0115 |
| #2 | GaMgAm | 19 | 0.0049 |
| #3 | Monkey D. Poopy | 11 | 0.0091 |
| #4 | Drug Dealer | 9 | 0.0032 |
| #5 | duron | 4 | 0.0058 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Drug Dealer | 494 | 0.17 | 13 min |
| #2 | CanniZar0 | 391 | 0.14 | 7 min |
| #3 | GaMgAm | 198 | 0.05 | 4 min |
| #4 | duron | 99 | 0.14 | 2 min |
| #5 | The Awesomezter | 84 | 0.18 | 2 min |





