








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 500 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 185 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 23 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 15 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 5 matches | ||
| Wingman | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Office | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 11 different maps





Our logs show 22 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




19 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3207 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 8,843 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2715 | 31% |
| Smokes | 2298 | 26% |
| HE Grenades | 1792 | 20% |
| Molotovs | 2038 | 23% |
Our logs show you have wasted $908,062 of utility $157 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 713 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #5 | dicE♔♔ | 62% | 42 |
| #6 | Drug Dealer | 62% | 84 |
| #7 | Monkey D. Poopy | 52% | 21 |
| #8 | ✪PinocchioF | 35% | 20 |
| #9 | GaMgAm | 28% | 18 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Drug Dealer | 4 | 0.0023 |
| #2 | ✪blurry | 3 | 0.0030 |
| #3 | Monkey D. Poopy | 2 | 0.0040 |
| #4 | ✪PinocchioF | 1 | 0.0022 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Drug Dealer | 283 | 0.16 | 7 min |
| #2 | ✪blurry | 263 | 0.26 | 7 min |
| #3 | dicE♔♔ | 128 | 0.15 | 4 min |
| #4 | -VeLLa #hackersboostmeplz | 66 | 0.14 | 1 min |
| #5 | JoKeR | 65 | 0.16 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | JoKeR | +3.38 | 90 | 63 |
| #2 | dicE♔♔ | +3.03 | 81 | 64 |
| #3 | Monkey D. Poopy | +2.78 | 87 | 34 |
| #4 | HVS ||W!Z^RD|| | +2.11 | 81 | 63 |
| #5 | Drug Dealer | +0.88 | 71 | 65 |





