








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 181 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Mirage | 25 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Agency | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Jura | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Golden | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 14 different maps





Our logs show No Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




4 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1802 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 3,427 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1953 | 57% |
| Smokes | 637 | 19% |
| HE Grenades | 261 | 8% |
| Molotovs | 576 | 17% |
Our logs show you have wasted $350,810 of utility $146 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 189 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | bruh | 70% | 10 |
| #2 | 100219 | 60% | 62 |
| #3 | THAI MING | 55% | 111 |
| #4 | Santa Claus | 55% | 91 |
| #5 | duduck | 54% | 46 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #4 | Santa Claus | 55% | 91 |
| #5 | duduck | 54% | 46 |
| #6 | Sayo | 54% | 24 |
| #7 | DeathC | 36% | 14 |
| #8 | HONEYYY | 33% | 12 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | 100219 | 24 | 0.0205 |
| #2 | Santa Claus | 17 | 0.0097 |
| #3 | THAI MING | 12 | 0.0057 |
| #4 | duduck | 7 | 0.0078 |
| #5 | Sayo | 2 | 0.0043 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Santa Claus | 298 | 0.17 | 5 min |
| #2 | THAI MING | 206 | 0.10 | 5 min |
| #3 | 100219 | 131 | 0.11 | 3 min |
| #4 | DeathC | 52 | 0.19 | 1 min |
| #5 | duduck | 42 | 0.05 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | duduck | +4.93 | 81 | 34 |
| #2 | euphoria | +3.78 | 84 | 54 |
| #3 | 100219 | +2.44 | 63 | 43 |
| #4 | Sayo | -0.42 | 41 | 33 |
| #5 | Santa Claus | -0.48 | 59 | 42 |





