








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 93 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 148 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 15 matches | ||
| Competitive Agency | 12 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Jura | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 15 different maps





Our logs show 6 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




23 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1832 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 8,303 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2693 | 32% |
| Smokes | 2074 | 25% |
| HE Grenades | 2023 | 24% |
| Molotovs | 1513 | 18% |
Our logs show you have wasted $669,338 of utility $106 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 478 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #6 | निग | 50% | 147 |
| #7 | duduck | 50% | 94 |
| #8 | THAI MING | 48% | 122 |
| #9 | bruh | 47% | 17 |
| #10 | Space | 46% | 39 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | THAI MING | 43 | 0.0184 |
| #2 | duduck | 23 | 0.0129 |
| #3 | 100219 | 21 | 0.0183 |
| #4 | Santa Claus | 15 | 0.0102 |
| #5 | निग | 8 | 0.0026 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Santa Claus | 333 | 0.23 | 5 min |
| #2 | THAI MING | 317 | 0.14 | 7 min |
| #3 | 100219 | 163 | 0.14 | 3 min |
| #4 | निग | 131 | 0.04 | 3 min |
| #5 | happiness | 128 | 0.04 | 4 min |





