








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 800 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 79 matches | ||
| Wingman | 78 matches | ||
| Faceit | 61 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 3 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 18 different maps





Our logs show 19 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




14 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2638 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 7,569 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2033 | 27% |
| Smokes | 1810 | 24% |
| HE Grenades | 2121 | 28% |
| Molotovs | 1605 | 21% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,002,118 of utility $164 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 200 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #9 | Mcsocks | 35% | 17 |
| #10 | El_sicario | 33% | 43 |
| #11 | Daugaard | 31% | 26 |
| #12 | ︻デS̷N̷O̷T̷T̷I̷ | 30% | 23 |
| #13 | Lyngsaae | 28% | 39 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Daugaard | 12 | 0.0240 |
| #2 | El_sicario | 9 | 0.0112 |
| #3 | Herkert | 8 | 0.0072 |
| #4 | Mcsocks | 8 | 0.0245 |
| #5 | Mike | 2 | 0.0009 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Lord | 378 | 0.16 | 11 min |
| #2 | Mike | 274 | 0.12 | 8 min |
| #3 | Herkert | 187 | 0.17 | 4 min |
| #4 | FoxY | 163 | 0.09 | 4 min |
| #5 | Brinkerne | 92 | 0.07 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Brinkerne | +2.32 | 81 | 61 |
| #2 | Archuus | +1.33 | 73 | 61 |
| #3 | BrAEt | +1.28 | 68 | 63 |
| #4 | Mcsocks | +1.21 | 74 | 51 |
| #5 | Lord | +0.41 | 66 | 80 |





