








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 17 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September
The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 161 matches | ||
| Faceit | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show No Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




9 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1509 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 6,937 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1946 | 28% |
| Smokes | 1686 | 24% |
| HE Grenades | 1809 | 26% |
| Molotovs | 1496 | 22% |
Our logs show you have wasted $327,416 of utility $86 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 0 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | OctoDickNut | 57% | 14 |
| #2 | Cocaina_Loco | 55% | 22 |
| #3 | nich | 53% | 19 |
| #4 | do better vincent | 53% | 152 |
| #5 | dexter | 49% | 76 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #2 | Cocaina_Loco | 55% | 22 |
| #3 | nich | 53% | 19 |
| #4 | do better vincent | 53% | 152 |
| #5 | dexter | 49% | 76 |
| #6 | saint | 45% | 22 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | do better vincent | 12 | 0.0038 |
| #2 | saint | 6 | 0.0128 |
| #3 | dexter | 3 | 0.0018 |
| #4 | Cocaina_Loco | 1 | 0.0021 |
| #5 | nich | 1 | 0.0025 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | do better vincent | 536 | 0.17 | 13 min |
| #2 | dexter | 97 | 0.06 | 2 min |
| #3 | nich | 63 | 0.16 | 1 min |
| #4 | OctoDickNut | 57 | 0.20 | 1 min |
| #5 | Cocaina_Loco | 54 | 0.11 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Xela | +0.94 | 84 | 71 |
| #2 | Cocaina_Loco | +0.87 | 77 | 49 |
| #3 | nich | +0.60 | 56 | 62 |
| #4 | do better vincent | +0.46 | 71 | 62 |
| #5 | saint | -0.45 | 57 | 43 |





