








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 53 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 161 matches | ||
| Wingman | 6 matches | ||
| Faceit | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 12 different maps





Our logs show 1 Chicken Has been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




9 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2730 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 6,944 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1830 | 26% |
| Smokes | 1912 | 28% |
| HE Grenades | 2003 | 29% |
| Molotovs | 1199 | 17% |
Our logs show you have wasted $286,281 of utility $60 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 180 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | maelk | 75% | 12 |
| #2 | Beuchert | 69% | 13 |
| #3 | Tykke Tyk | 67% | 15 |
| #4 | sound (0-aim) | 67% | 27 |
| #5 | BjeRRe | 49% | 35 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Lykke :) | 6 | 0.0102 |
| #2 | BjeRRe | 5 | 0.0069 |
| #3 | Wheels | 4 | 0.0120 |
| #4 | Nyredolk | 2 | 0.0014 |
| #5 | 𝓝𝓞𝓙𝓞𝓗 | 2 | 0.0016 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Lykke :) | 90 | 0.15 | 3 min |
| #2 | BjeRRe | 74 | 0.10 | 2 min |
| #3 | Nyredolk | 64 | 0.05 | 1 min |
| #4 | Mr. Lassard | 42 | 0.06 | 1 min |
| #5 | KrisPy | 41 | 0.05 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Shadowth56 | +2.31 | 85 | 57 |
| #2 | Beuchert | +2.09 | 74 | 57 |
| #3 | Wheels | +2.05 | 71 | 50 |
| #4 | BjeRRe | +1.90 | 84 | 68 |
| #5 | maelk | +0.77 | 65 | 72 |





