








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 58 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 224 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show 6 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




8 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3975 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 4,745 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1156 | 24% |
| Smokes | 1158 | 24% |
| HE Grenades | 1371 | 29% |
| Molotovs | 1060 | 22% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,073,567 of utility $174 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 72 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | sapph '1 | 54% | 93 |
| #2 | Emil | 50% | 175 |
| #3 | Shadowth56 | 48% | 44 |
| #4 | Nyredolk | 45% | 20 |
| #5 | 𝓝𝓞𝓙𝓞𝓗 | 44% | 18 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | sapph '1 | 54% | 93 |
| #2 | Emil | 50% | 175 |
| #3 | Shadowth56 | 48% | 44 |
| #4 | Nyredolk | 45% | 20 |
| #5 | 𝓝𝓞𝓙𝓞𝓗 | 44% | 18 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | sapph '1 | 4 | 0.0020 |
| #2 | Shadowth56 | 3 | 0.0031 |
| #3 | Emil | 2 | 0.0005 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Emil | 202 | 0.05 | 6 min |
| #2 | sapph '1 | 114 | 0.06 | 2 min |
| #3 | Shadowth56 | 110 | 0.11 | 2 min |
| #4 | Nyredolk | 17 | 0.04 | 0 min |
| #5 | 𝓝𝓞𝓙𝓞𝓗 | 6 | 0.01 | 0 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Shadowth56 | +2.36 | 85 | 59 |
| #2 | Emil | +1.43 | 85 | 52 |
| #3 | sapph '1 | +1.17 | 87 | 52 |
| #4 | 𝓝𝓞𝓙𝓞𝓗 | -0.06 | 62 | 30 |
| #5 | KrisPy | -0.34 | 75 | 48 |





