








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 11 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September


The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 29 matches | ||
| Wingman | 6 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 11 different maps





Our logs show 3 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




3 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
474 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 1,098 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 109 | 10% |
| Smokes | 385 | 35% |
| HE Grenades | 459 | 42% |
| Molotovs | 145 | 13% |
Our logs show you have wasted $38,888 of utility $40 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 0 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Reinsch | 67% | 6 |
| #2 | ElMel | 65% | 26 |
| #3 | Mack | 59% | 37 |
| #4 | # 'ma xx N' | 57% | 14 |
| #5 | wonderboi | 56% | 16 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #6 | Same | 56% | 9 |
| #7 | Kima | 56% | 9 |
| #8 | Thias | 40% | 5 |
| #9 | FreakOut | 38% | 8 |
| #10 | Prof. Dr. Krampus | 20% | 5 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ElMel | 2 | 0.0043 |
| #2 | Mack | 1 | 0.0015 |
| #3 | FreakOut | 1 | 0.0120 |
| #4 | Reinsch | 1 | 0.0125 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ElMel | 72 | 0.15 | 1 min |
| #2 | Mack | 30 | 0.05 | 0 min |
| #3 | Thias | 14 | 0.13 | 1 min |
| #4 | Reinsch | 14 | 0.17 | 0 min |
| #5 | wonderboi | 12 | 0.05 | 0 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Thias | +4.01 | 71 | 63 |
| #2 | ElMel | +1.36 | 42 | 60 |
| #3 | wonderboi | +0.96 | 40 | 65 |
| #4 | Mack | +0.53 | 56 | 42 |
| #5 | Reinsch | +0.18 | 72 | 60 |





