








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 1543 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 1026 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 40 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 36 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 34 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 33 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 19 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 13 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Jura | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 9 matches | ||
| Wingman | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 7 matches | ||
| Faceit | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Edin | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Agency | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 18 different maps





Our logs show 75 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




165 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
8615 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 25,479 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 4028 | 16% |
| Smokes | 9958 | 39% |
| HE Grenades | 6738 | 26% |
| Molotovs | 4755 | 19% |
Our logs show you have wasted $764,122 of utility $28 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 1723 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | BobLikePie2 | 51% | 122 |
| #2 | Eye Candy | 48% | 128 |
| #3 | 怎么了 | 48% | 193 |
| #4 | An_Elderly_Child | 44% | 364 |
| #5 | Daisuke Osamu | 41% | 428 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | BobLikePie2 | 51% | 122 |
| #2 | Eye Candy | 48% | 128 |
| #3 | 怎么了 | 48% | 193 |
| #4 | An_Elderly_Child | 44% | 364 |
| #5 | Daisuke Osamu | 41% | 428 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Daisuke Osamu | 67 | 0.0078 |
| #2 | 怎么了 | 43 | 0.0111 |
| #3 | Eye Candy | 38 | 0.0144 |
| #4 | An_Elderly_Child | 27 | 0.0037 |
| #5 | BobLikePie2 | 8 | 0.0032 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Daisuke Osamu | 987 | 0.12 | 22 min |
| #2 | An_Elderly_Child | 411 | 0.06 | 8 min |
| #3 | 怎么了 | 323 | 0.08 | 7 min |
| #4 | BobLikePie2 | 178 | 0.07 | 4 min |
| #5 | Eye Candy | 134 | 0.05 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Eye Candy | +3.47 | 66 | 33 |
| #2 | Burrito | +1.31 | 58 | 38 |
| #3 | Daisuke Osamu | -0.41 | 45 | 50 |
| #4 | 怎么了 | -1.35 | 42 | 47 |
| #5 | An_Elderly_Child | -3.35 | 17 | 34 |





