








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 762 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 285 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Palacio | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 15 different maps





Our logs show 38 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




106 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3105 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 9,962 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2627 | 26% |
| Smokes | 2596 | 26% |
| HE Grenades | 2286 | 23% |
| Molotovs | 2453 | 25% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,271,121 of utility $156 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 10237 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Burrito | 48% | 193 |
| #2 | fern | 47% | 49 |
| #3 | BobLikePie2 | 47% | 103 |
| #4 | Davis | 46% | 26 |
| #5 | An_Elderly_Child | 42% | 140 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #2 | fern | 47% | 49 |
| #3 | BobLikePie2 | 47% | 103 |
| #4 | Davis | 46% | 26 |
| #5 | An_Elderly_Child | 42% | 140 |
| #6 | Jeffio14 | 35% | 31 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Burrito | 31 | 0.0079 |
| #2 | An_Elderly_Child | 17 | 0.0062 |
| #3 | fern | 14 | 0.0138 |
| #4 | BobLikePie2 | 3 | 0.0014 |
| #5 | Davis | 1 | 0.0019 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Burrito | 225 | 0.06 | 6 min |
| #2 | An_Elderly_Child | 198 | 0.07 | 3 min |
| #3 | BobLikePie2 | 157 | 0.07 | 3 min |
| #4 | fern | 102 | 0.10 | 2 min |
| #5 | Davis | 24 | 0.05 | 0 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Burrito | +2.98 | 60 | 37 |
| #2 | fern | +1.52 | 34 | 45 |
| #3 | Davis | -0.58 | 42 | 28 |
| #4 | Jeffio14 | -0.63 | 29 | 26 |
| #5 | 怎么了 | -0.82 | 44 | 49 |





