








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 2539 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 965 matches | ||
| Wingman | 86 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 19 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 2 matches | ||
| Faceit | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Edin | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Grail | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 21 different maps





Our logs show 11 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




204 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
14968 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 17,893 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 6034 | 34% |
| Smokes | 5967 | 33% |
| HE Grenades | 2959 | 17% |
| Molotovs | 2933 | 16% |
Our logs show you have wasted $322,626 of utility $14 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 5192 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | An_Elderly_Child | 52% | 61 |
| #2 | Daisuke Osamu | 50% | 279 |
| #3 | Gamemaster2399 | 49% | 68 |
| #4 | Burrito | 48% | 128 |
| #5 | Discrete Non Mobile GPU | 42% | 603 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | An_Elderly_Child | 52% | 61 |
| #2 | Daisuke Osamu | 50% | 279 |
| #3 | Gamemaster2399 | 49% | 68 |
| #4 | Burrito | 48% | 128 |
| #5 | Discrete Non Mobile GPU | 42% | 603 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Discrete Non Mobile GPU | 160 | 0.0137 |
| #2 | Daisuke Osamu | 44 | 0.0077 |
| #3 | Burrito | 29 | 0.0109 |
| #4 | Gamemaster2399 | 4 | 0.0028 |
| #5 | An_Elderly_Child | 4 | 0.0032 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Daisuke Osamu | 652 | 0.11 | 17 min |
| #2 | Discrete Non Mobile GPU | 243 | 0.02 | 4 min |
| #3 | Gamemaster2399 | 181 | 0.12 | 5 min |
| #4 | Burrito | 97 | 0.04 | 2 min |
| #5 | An_Elderly_Child | 62 | 0.05 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Eye Candy | +2.61 | 59 | 37 |
| #2 | Gamemaster2399 | +0.73 | 53 | 43 |
| #3 | Burrito | +0.27 | 59 | 36 |
| #4 | Daisuke Osamu | -1.61 | 43 | 53 |
| #5 | Discrete Non Mobile GPU | -3.54 | 17 | 11 |





