








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 35 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 62 matches | ||
| Wingman | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 7 different maps





Our logs show 5 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




1 of your human shaped victims was your teammate...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1265 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 3,703 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 803 | 22% |
| Smokes | 1223 | 33% |
| HE Grenades | 758 | 20% |
| Molotovs | 919 | 25% |
Our logs show you have wasted $240,130 of utility $109 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 8 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Tommynater | 67% | 18 |
| #2 | KKKKKKKKKKORPS | 65% | 20 |
| #3 | ☁️ DINH | 58% | 24 |
| #4 | jeppalej | 55% | 49 |
| #5 | T0WWY | 54% | 46 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #6 | SHIBAL | 53% | 75 |
| #7 | NeDo | 53% | 40 |
| #8 | qwuickly | 47% | 51 |
| #9 | topviet | 44% | 36 |
| #10 | Pain | 40% | 5 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | KKKKKKKKKKORPS | 1 | 0.0021 |
| #2 | Tommynater | 1 | 0.0025 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | SHIBAL | 211 | 0.13 | 6 min |
| #2 | T0WWY | 204 | 0.19 | 7 min |
| #3 | jeppalej | 128 | 0.11 | 4 min |
| #4 | NeDo | 116 | 0.13 | 3 min |
| #5 | KKKKKKKKKKORPS | 82 | 0.17 | 3 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | hnim | +2.49 | 84 | 71 |
| #2 | ☁️ DINH | +1.40 | 76 | 48 |
| #3 | T0WWY | +1.23 | 84 | 72 |
| #4 | qwuickly | +0.95 | 79 | 62 |
| #5 | NeDo | +0.57 | 82 | 64 |





