








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 28 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 27 matches | ||
| Premier | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 6 different maps





Our logs show No Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




0 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Your loyalty is impressive.
389 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 1,540 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 218 | 14% |
| Smokes | 539 | 35% |
| HE Grenades | 394 | 26% |
| Molotovs | 389 | 25% |
Our logs show you have wasted $143,979 of utility $132 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 11 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Tommynater | 83% | 6 |
| #2 | KKKKKKKKKKORPS | 78% | 9 |
| #3 | ☁️ DINH | 64% | 14 |
| #4 | jeppalej | 56% | 18 |
| #5 | SHIBAL | 51% | 37 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #5 | SHIBAL | 51% | 37 |
| #6 | qwuickly | 50% | 26 |
| #7 | NeDo | 45% | 22 |
| #8 | hnim | 44% | 36 |
| #9 | T0WWY | 21% | 14 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | hnim | 1 | 0.0013 |
| #2 | Tommynater | 1 | 0.0069 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | SHIBAL | 118 | 0.14 | 4 min |
| #2 | hnim | 98 | 0.13 | 3 min |
| #3 | T0WWY | 76 | 0.24 | 2 min |
| #4 | jeppalej | 70 | 0.16 | 2 min |
| #5 | NeDo | 36 | 0.08 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | hnim | +2.47 | 84 | 71 |
| #2 | NeDo | +1.53 | 84 | 72 |
| #3 | T0WWY | +1.16 | 69 | 68 |
| #4 | KKKKKKKKKKORPS | +1.08 | 68 | 63 |
| #5 | ☁️ DINH | +0.91 | 76 | 59 |





