








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 369 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 62 matches | ||
| Premier | 50 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 10 different maps





Our logs show 4 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




7 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2799 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 5,321 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1017 | 19% |
| Smokes | 1354 | 25% |
| HE Grenades | 1920 | 36% |
| Molotovs | 1030 | 19% |
Our logs show you have wasted $648,736 of utility $151 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 50 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ☁️ DINH | 65% | 23 |
| #2 | Eggie uwu | 59% | 58 |
| #3 | Tommynater | 58% | 19 |
| #4 | jeppalej | 57% | 44 |
| #5 | SHIBAL | 55% | 65 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #10 | topviet | 50% | 26 |
| #11 | T0WWY | 49% | 35 |
| #12 | hnim | 47% | 51 |
| #13 | Pain | 47% | 47 |
| #14 | NeDo | 44% | 39 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | SHIBAL | 208 | 0.14 | 6 min |
| #2 | NeDo | 166 | 0.19 | 5 min |
| #3 | T0WWY | 161 | 0.19 | 5 min |
| #4 | hnim | 133 | 0.11 | 4 min |
| #5 | jeppalej | 123 | 0.12 | 4 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | qwuickly | +2.91 | 81 | 62 |
| #2 | hnim | +1.46 | 85 | 71 |
| #3 | T0WWY | +1.37 | 85 | 73 |
| #4 | Pain | +1.27 | 88 | 56 |
| #5 | NeDo | +0.25 | 75 | 68 |





