








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 199 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September


The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 359 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 30 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 18 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 16 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 13 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 13 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 8 matches | ||
| Wingman | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Jura | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 18 different maps





Our logs show 38 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




28 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3002 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 10,860 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 720 | 7% |
| Smokes | 3714 | 34% |
| HE Grenades | 3075 | 28% |
| Molotovs | 3351 | 31% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,801,512 of utility $152 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 683 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ⚡ Sᴇɴsᴇɪ ツ | 13 | 0.0061 |
| #2 | [LL]Devil Dog | 9 | 0.0027 |
| #3 | CM-R8kt_1shot | 5 | 0.0050 |
| #4 | snaXteRs ツ | 4 | 0.0014 |
| #5 | ⚡ RushC | 4 | 0.0015 |





