








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 344 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 132 matches | ||
| Premier | 75 matches | ||
| Wingman | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 5 matches | ||
| Esplay | 4 matches | 1,916 | |
| Competitive Inferno | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 11 different maps





Our logs show 33 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




6 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2296 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 11,533 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 4183 | 36% |
| Smokes | 3371 | 29% |
| HE Grenades | 2128 | 18% |
| Molotovs | 1851 | 16% |
Our logs show you have wasted $523,019 of utility $86 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 105 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | kim kAwAii ._. | 72% | 18 |
| #2 | purple | 67% | 42 |
| #3 | slunk1 | 64% | 42 |
| #4 | schna | 62% | 26 |
| #5 | €u₹o | 60% | 25 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #8 | Julio | 56% | 73 |
| #9 | orakadpung | 55% | 101 |
| #10 | Persson | 55% | 22 |
| #11 | kaake | 43% | 21 |
| #12 | Sobo | 35% | 20 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | R0ME | 6 | 0.0022 |
| #2 | orakadpung | 3 | 0.0014 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | R0ME | 528 | 0.19 | 13 min |
| #2 | orakadpung | 459 | 0.21 | 13 min |
| #3 | slunk1 | 110 | 0.12 | 4 min |
| #4 | kaake | 86 | 0.18 | 2 min |
| #5 | purple | 53 | 0.06 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | schna | +4.11 | 68 | 49 |
| #2 | purple | +3.71 | 71 | 60 |
| #3 | orakadpung | +2.39 | 71 | 74 |
| #4 | Persson | +0.51 | 69 | 42 |
| #5 | criscros | +0.44 | 71 | 69 |





