








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 426 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 170 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 24 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 10 matches | ||
| Faceit | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 2 matches | ||
| Wingman | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Jura | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 15 different maps





Our logs show 33 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




9 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2852 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 12,528 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 3100 | 25% |
| Smokes | 3386 | 27% |
| HE Grenades | 3189 | 25% |
| Molotovs | 2853 | 23% |
Our logs show you have wasted $912,787 of utility $144 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 508 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Komkommer | 67% | 24 |
| #2 | Piss | 62% | 29 |
| #3 | SNappie™ | 61% | 33 |
| #4 | `..°W3stY°®¹ | 58% | 109 |
| #5 | Hephie | 57% | 46 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #3 | SNappie™ | 61% | 33 |
| #4 | `..°W3stY°®¹ | 58% | 109 |
| #5 | Hephie | 57% | 46 |
| #6 | Parkway | 53% | 32 |
| #7 | Blame Melon! | 48% | 80 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | `..°W3stY°®¹ | 7 | 0.0030 |
| #2 | Piss | 7 | 0.0135 |
| #3 | Blame Melon! | 5 | 0.0030 |
| #4 | Parkway | 4 | 0.0058 |
| #5 | SNappie™ | 3 | 0.0046 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Komkommer | 200 | 0.38 | 6 min |
| #2 | Blame Melon! | 199 | 0.12 | 7 min |
| #3 | `..°W3stY°®¹ | 178 | 0.08 | 5 min |
| #4 | Hephie | 122 | 0.12 | 3 min |
| #5 | Piss | 63 | 0.12 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Komkommer | +3.28 | 85 | 79 |
| #2 | `..°W3stY°®¹ | +2.75 | 67 | 64 |
| #3 | Blame Melon! | +1.23 | 59 | 66 |
| #4 | Piss | +0.79 | 69 | 76 |
| #5 | bonesawbone | +0.21 | 57 | 70 |





